The irony of this post is not lost on me.   I couldn't wait to share my thoughts with my fb friends about how social media is destroying us.  I should say "our use of social media", as the invention is quite spectacular and useful in ways most don't utilize. 

I'm obviously not the first to observe this, but it's ignored on such a huge level that it bears repeating. Smart phones, Facebook, Texting.....all of it, is making us dull.   It takes so much away from the feeling and observation of actual life that our personalities are gradually dimmed to make room for vanity.

And if one considers how their time is spent daily, and unpretentiously evaluates their motives, it's mostly just begging for acknowledgment, love, acceptance.....which isn't a shameful thing.   It's natural. But it's easy.  

And this new world we live in makes it so easy to CHOOSE easy.   If you don't make an arduous effort to separate yourself and think, it will swallow you whole on a tide of temporary feelings and overindulgence.  And you will believe that happiness is that shitty little piece of life because you were never brazen enough to demand more.

So none of that is what I learned.  That's just WHY I took a break.   No...no....HERE is what I learned:

- Sunflower looks amazing behind a swinging glow stick.   And while I'm not bogged down with maintaining my virtual self, I notice her grin when I slip her name into "You are my Sunshine", even though it's quick because she's learning how to hide her feelings already, for all the reasons we do.   And I allowed myself grief over losing another piece of my baby, a milestone I would have missed burried in my own self interest. 

- Running is amazing.   I can't go very far, yet, but I can already appreciate the movement of my limbs and the energy from the air moving past me.....the being ok with being alone in my own mind for a while.  People aren't comfortable with that anymore.   

- My husband loves me.   And I love him.   And that gets ignored too often.   We are so lucky to have our lives.   I am so lucky to have a man willing to work against himself to be a man that makes me happy.  He's clawing his way up from a dark reality he created, and he's so brave.  And he inspires me.

- It's well known that I'm not a phone talker.   For me, and I assume the majority, it's much easier to text, especially when what you're trying to convey is deeper than surface level.   But, I learned that simple text takes away emotion, takes away the sound of our voice, and the gift we give another person when we say they're important enough for us to feel self-concious for a moment. 

 
There are so many things we can do, big and small.    But this generation is choosing the perspicuous path, and that makes us the worst one yet when we're equipped with so many tools.