I'm only passing through...
To My Future Love
Published on February 16, 2006 By new-age nomad In Dating

I need your hands to be calloused and your knees to be bruised.  I need to know that tears have marked your face and pain has smudged the rouge of your heart. 

 

I need to know that you’ve seen hell, that you’ve lived there, and that you fought to get out.  I need to know that you do not covet comfort, stability, or permanence.  You need to hold the awareness in your soul that the deepest beauty only acquaints itself with wreckage and rubble.

 

Someone before me needs to have held your heart with both hands and slowly dug their nails into it while you watched.  I need you to hold in your line of vision the dripping blood sliding down her fingers and onto the floor.  I need you to be reluctant in giving up this scarred organ again.

 

I hope that you have seen death, that you have seen addiction, that you have seen deterioration, and that you have known lost love.  I want you to tell me about all the mistakes you’ve made, consciously or otherwise, and I want to share in the magic that is imperfection. 

 

I want most of your life lessons to have been learned through error, because where’s the story with the absence of conflict?  Change needs to have broken you and caught you off guard, thus only making you appreciate it’s splendor that much more. 

 

I need you to be this person, not because I want to fix you, but because the ocean will never understand the pond.

 

Trinitie   


Comments (Page 2)
3 Pages1 2 3 
on Feb 18, 2006
Well, hot-damn, that was fantastic. This piece made me think about how we often all crave the wrong characteristics in people we want near us. We pretend that we deserve someone free of flaws and that we want to judge on having never made mistakes. no one can live up to these expectations. So bring on the baggage, the bad memories and the good, that's the only way to get close to anyone.

Good work Trin,
Ted
on Feb 18, 2006

Ted,

Sometimes I think that craving ....what this article states....is wrong.  You know why?  Because I'm in love with someone who encompasses perfection, and you may not think that a possibility, but if you knew the guy, you'd understand.

There's something holding me back from loving him completely, though.  And that, my friend, is what this article is about.  I need him to be something, to have memories, to be broken.  And I know that will never be. 

Ugh....just Ugh.

Trinitie

on Feb 18, 2006
wow, awesome
on Feb 18, 2006

Excellent! Makes me proud of my own battle scars...
on Feb 18, 2006
lol trin i was thinking I'd turn it into a song. lol. I have no doubt you'll be famous some day
on Feb 19, 2006

wow, awesome

I know I am.

Excellent! Makes me proud of my own battle scars...

As it should.

I have no doubt you'll be famous some day

Funny thing:  Me either. 

Trinitie 

on Feb 21, 2006
reading this, i feel like someone rewound me back to the woman i was to become when i met my husband
Mignuna: Will you explain that, please?


that was a bit ambiguous of me. what i meant was that until i met my husband, i underestimated the importance of empathy in a relationship. (although of course we don't have share exact maps of life experience).

the lives we had prior to meeting and getting married weren't perfect by a long way, yet it was the 'fuck-ups' we made that helped us emotionally prepare to 'tough out' a lifelong relationship.

(and i, in particular, need to fail in front of a sympathetic audience, or else i'll never try !).

as for the 'friend' thing, i showed this piece to a (younger) male friend who enjoyed it a lot, so instead of some stranger appearing on your blog, i just wanted to mention it. his name is chris if he pops up anywhere.

and i'm glad to see you got the kudos you deserve for this piece, it really is exceptional.

mig xxx
on Feb 24, 2006
Sometimes I think that craving ....what this article states....is wrong. You know why? Because I'm in love with someone who encompasses perfection, and you may not think that a possibility, but if you knew the guy, you'd understand.
There's something holding me back from loving him completely, though. And that, my friend, is what this article is about. I need him to be something, to have memories, to be broken. And I know that will never be.


There's as much in this as your blog.

You want someone deeply real. No matter how much you may think this guy is perfect (if I knew him) he's not. No one is. Until you risk you don't loose. You want someone who has gone for broke and been honest about the wins and losses, and yet is humble and secure. There arent many of those, sweetie.

I love your blog, and am amazed at how many others do also.

Tractorman
on Feb 28, 2006

and am amazed at how many others do also

Paul, I'm sorry, but that was like a burn incognito.  (for the older audience, "burn" here is equivilent to insult)

No matter how much you may think this guy is perfect (if I knew him) he's not.

Oh, you definately know him.    As always, I love hearing from you, man.  I'm sending Dan a package and there are gifts for you and Charissa in there, too.

Trinitie

on Mar 01, 2006
This is easily the best piece of yours I've read. Masterfully done! Beautiful! Buddah
on Mar 01, 2006
Trin I love this. I have some news, so call me.
aloha
on Mar 02, 2006

Buddha, that's only cuz the rest of it sucks, right?  I'm totally gonna buy your book.  You have no idea how excited I am that you're published; you are so kickass.

Lani, why wouldn't you love this?

Migs, yeah, I've had a few encounters with Chris; why would you send a crazy my way?  He's hot, though, so you're forgiven....for now.

Trinitie

on Mar 02, 2006
lol trin... i love my brother, he's great.. but far from perfect but I definately know what you're saying.
on Mar 03, 2006
Ok big head, but your right why wouldnt I?
Aloha
on Mar 09, 2006

Charissa, 

No, he's perfect.  You could neva change my mind.  Which is precisely the reason "we" will never be.  *tear*

Kaulani,

That's punkin head to you, missy.

Trinitie

3 Pages1 2 3