I'm only passing through...
I'll Tell You Why
Published on May 27, 2004 By new-age nomad In Home & Family
I get along with most everybody...for a short period of time. I'm that crazy, fun type of person that everyone wants to be around...that is, until they get to know me. I, Trinitie Tiearra Garrison, am a difficult person, and I'm proud.

As a young girl, I was surrounded by unique personalities. I believe my Uncle Matt, whom I've probably mentioned several times on here, contributed largely to who I am. To most people, Uncle Matt would seem a bit...off, but he was my hero. To give you a little background, at the age of 19, he lost his one true love in a boating accident and got pretty messed up himself. He didn't date for nearly 20 years. My grandmother has 13 children, all of them pretty normal with the exception of Matt and Vickie (my mother). He's pretty much shunned by his family because he refuses to fit into their mold of what "normal" is.

Uncle Matt lives simply. He owns maybe 2 outfits while all of his other possessions wouldn't fill a bag. He's never actually lived in a house that he was paying for, though he is a working man. He's devoted to Christ, and he would walk miles to get to a church on Sunday. When he lived with us in Oklahoma (he's lived with us numerous times), we were poor as dirt. We didn't have any food, laundray soap, dish soap, shampoo, or even running water. He would go outside and pick leaves off the trees after collecting water from across the street and boil them into a sort of stew...it was delicious!!! He would get me up hours before school started and let me drink coffee with him while we talked about whatever was on my mind.

As a young girl, he would sit with me for hours playing word games that he and I made up. We would wake up early in the morning to steal a few moments alone to read the funny pages in the daily newspaper. Uncle Matt would explain any jokes I didn't understand---even when other adults would say I wasn't old enough for that humor. He would do my homework with me, play with me, let me ride on his motorcycle like a big girl, and let me sit on his lap and sing along with him while he played the guitar.

We would talk about life, about what I wanted to be, and although he would never laugh at my aspirations, he would be truthful with me about my abilities. Though he was usually a kind man, disrespect would throw him into a rage. No matter what I did though, he would never say harsh things to me without first taking a few moments to decide if they were constructive.

I have 6 brothers and sisters, but I only grew up with 2 of them, Kameron and Tancie. Uncle Matt loved them too, but he and I always shared something more...a connection. It was like we knew there was something different about us. He showed me love when it was a scarcity in my life.

Uncle Matt nurtured all the things I really love about myself: my love for God, my love for people, my intelligence and love of learning, my love of humor, my love of music, but most of all, my difficulty, my stubborness.

Uncle Matt taught me not to care about others opinions when something you care about is on the line. He taught me to be me even if it meant losing friends. He taught me to stand up for what I believe in, even when it hurts. Most would look at my uncle's life and say he is a failure. I look at it and see a man unlike any other I've ever known. In my mind, he is the most successful person I've ever encountered.

When I was 7, I recall standing in the kitchen with Uncle Matt kneeling down on one knee to talk to me. In mid-sentence, I stopped and said, "Uncle Matt, will you marry me?" Of course, this is a story he loves to tell, but I meant it. I know I will never meet another man as wonderful as my Uncle Matt.

Comments
on May 27, 2004
You're so lucky to have someone like that in your life. People are judged far to much on what is supposed to be normal. Sounds like he lives life by his own rules, and that means he's happy. "Uncle Matt, will you marry me?" , that is so cute, and just about sums up what he means to you
on May 27, 2004
Good for you! We need more people in the world like you, who are prepared to be themselves, regardless of what people will think about it. Maybe life is a journey that is supposed to be travelled with a few people you know well for some people and others are supposed to experience many different people and places, blessing those around them with their unique presence for whatever time is necessary to make a difference.
While you celebrate your difficultness (is that a word) I suggest that you should use a more positive word, like courageous. Because you are.
on May 27, 2004
Thanks guys!

Flooz, I'll most definately check out your site.

Trinitie
on May 27, 2004
Nice. Very good work, poignant and heartfelt.
on May 27, 2004
SARAH COMMENTED!!!! My hero....

Trinitie
on May 27, 2004
I am glad you are back.

JU is better for the Trin specialty of emotional writing! You let your heart translate onto the screen, and I love that about you!

BAM!!!
on May 27, 2004
that's a damn good question... why ARE you so difficult, woman?
on May 27, 2004
woman??? far from it...

Trinitie
on May 28, 2004
I absolutely loved that story! I also love people who are different... and who don't care what other people think. I guess that's why they're different anyway coz they don't change to fit other peoples expectations. It sounds like Uncle Matt has a huge heart, an awesomely fun and strange imagination and disrespect (especially to women) is a sore point with him, which sounds a bit like me. I totally agree with SarahJ and Muggaz.

And I almost had a tear in my eye when you asked him to marry you! That's just about the cutest thing ever
on May 28, 2004
Maybe I am alone here, but I would like to know why you think you are difficult. Is it because people tell you so? That, as I hope you know by now, is not a good reason.

So assuming you know that., tell us why you are difficult? Not that I didn't find the rest of your story delightful, I did, but you started out strong with this incredibly direct thesis statement, and now I am left wanting to read the paper that goes with it. If you prefer, you can just mail me at socrates@ockhamsrazor.org I have recently started having lots of conversations with folks I meet on blogs or forums and it's a delightful use of email.
Edit: I was just going thru some of your other stuff. Of interest was an article where you asked people not to comment and got 83 comments. Finding this partuclarly amusing (because it si so normal for people to do exactly what they are told specifically NOT to do), I read about 20 of them. One of them is a statement that you don't email people, but instead of just retracting my addy, I'll leave it with you in case you change your mind.
Be well,
Ock
on May 28, 2004
I realized I was getting off track about half way through the article, but I couldn't stop myself from recollecting all the memories. I had intended to write about how I am difficult, instead of why, but writing takes me in odd directions most of time.

I'll work on a new blog about that, Ock, though it may prove to be a "difficult" task, lol. Once again, thanks for reading my stuff.

Trinitie