I've spoken many times of my obsession with the passenger seat of vehicles. I never really wanted to learn to drive because of my intense love of that seat. It was where I slept when I lived in the car with my mom, it's where the radio controller sits, it's where you don't have to worry about staying inside the lines, you only have to look at the night sky through the windshield, which I ultimately think makes the sky more beautiful. It's like, if you wanna reach out and touch it, you can, the glass is there for you have a tangible object to feel, whereas when you're outside, it's hopeless.

The passenger seat is where I learned about life; it's where I learned you just have to trust people with your life sometimes, and it's that trust that frees us----that point when we let go, when all we care about is the scenery flying by, the sound of the car, and the music that life makes. I've mentioned before that I sometimes sneak out to the car while the rest of the world is sleeping and just sit in the passenger seat to see the night sky through that windshield---the object that my daddy spent half his life repairing.

Recently, I had to let a dear friend go, a beautiful friend. My phone wouldn't work in the house, so I went out to the car to have that life altering conversation. We talked about unhealthy relationships and how, though it's hard to walk away from them, it's neccessary. We talked about my faults, which I admitted, and we let go. I cryed, I cryed alot. He hung up without telling me he loved me and sent me into a terrible, sobbing rage. So, being a teenage chick, I called back and said, "I love you, Dan, and I just need you to know that in case these are the last words we ever speak to each other." He loves me back.

That's when I realized: Letting go doesn't mean we no longer love. I will pray for that boy until the day I die. I will never forget all he taught me and the way my heart swelled with love when I heard his voice. I know he will continue to pray for me too. And you know what? That's what life's all about. That one experience made me see that all the people that have left me weren't stealing their love back; there was no indian giving going on. They were simply moving on, and prayer is still needed from both sides.

As I pondered these facts, I realized I'd taken the next step into adulthood. Then I looked around me.

I was sitting in the driver's seat.

Trinitie