I'm only passing through...
Even in H-E Double Hockey Sticks
Published on September 18, 2004 By new-age nomad In Misc
There's a game I play with myself. I try to see how long I can trick my brain into thinking I'm having fun.

A little girl runs up to my line at the grocery store every time she and her mom visit. She knows me now. She knows I'll grin and tell how how beautiful she is and let her scan her own candy.

There is a man who has no idea how much I envy his wife. For every trip he takes to the store, she receives flowers. He tells me how much he loves her and sends me into another of my silly daydreams.

A couple walks up in ragged clothing with 4 little one's trailing behind. I take extra money off their order, and they see a tiny piece of Christ.

There's a cutie in the deli that I have a secret love affair with, only he doesn't know.

I have numerous customers tell me that my smile made their day, and my jaw begins to ache because I just can't seems to wipe it off after that.

My manager nags at every little thing, and I smile inside because I know I'm building character and adding to the person Trinitie is, while he's slowly killing his own soul.

A mother leaves her baby in the cart while she runs to grab one last item before paying. Just as soon as she rounds the corner, the screaming starts. I have to unbuckle the child, and cradle her in my arms while making those irritating cooing noises. My coworkers poke fun because they know I never want to have children of my own due to my lack of selflessness. Though it's hard to admit I'm a woman, my estrogen kicks in and it feels good to be needed.

I listen to people's problems, and I can see that weight is being slowly lifted from their shoulders because someone is finally hearing them and sympathizing. I tell them I'll pray, and I do, even if I have to lump all my customers together in one category.

Speaking of prayer, a woman came through my line and asked me if there was anything she could pray for me about. Now, every time she comes in, she inquires about those prayers being answered.

A regular comes in with that same sadness in his eyes. He, again, walks to the liquor isle and grabs that same six-pack of beer, and has the exact change counted out, even after tax. He comes through my line again and winks again and walks away a little more slowly each time. He needs someone to listen, he just needs to find the words to say.

And, there I am. Playing that game in my head. Looking for Jesus in the faces of humans. Trying to ignore the pain in my neck, my feet, and my back. I smile and make eye contact with the next customer.

What do you know....I really am having fun.

Trinitie


Comments
on Sep 18, 2004
This is just gorgeous. You are a very talented writer. And what lovely differences you are making.
on Sep 18, 2004
It's like the "glad game" in Pollyanna!

You are a gifted writer. I miss you friend.
on Sep 19, 2004
This is beautiful, Trinitie.
on Sep 19, 2004
I got tingles when I read that Trin...

You really do have a beautiful soul... a soul that deserves to have fun!

BAM!!!
on Jan 05, 2005

Muggaz:

Giving tingles is never a bad thing.    Not in my book anyway.

Having a beautiful soul isn't either.  So, through careful examination, I believe you've just paid me a compliment.

Thank you. 

Wisefawn:

I miss you. 

Lobsterhunter:

I'm a gifted something.  Lol.

Texas:  Your comments are always appreciated.

Trinitie

on Jun 27, 2005
Hey Trin,

Let me start by saying that I know your situation here intimatley. I remember when this too was my life and I would also try my best to convince myself that it was enjoyable. Though you and I have often found our opinions at odds with one another, I admire your ability to extend your spirit to others. I know a great deal of the people you mention here and I am positive that you have touched them. You are a truly unforgetable person Trin. My only advice to you is to be careful not to allow logic to overrule belief. No matter what. Take it from one who has made such a mistake and will never find his way back.
on Sep 06, 2005

Tony Barsaloni!

I love you!  You're a sweety!

Trinitie

on Sep 06, 2005
Thanks Trinitie. An attitude of gratitude surely is an infectious thing. Tonight, before I go to sleep, I'll be a little bit more grateful for my day too.
on Sep 07, 2005
Good to hear, Doc.

Trinitie