*Cue Intense Dramatic Theme Music*
Ever read poetry and it's so beautiful that you twist it in any way you can to fit your circumstances, even though it has nothing to do with you? We read some very lovely poetry in English today, and I couldn't bring myself to just enjoy it; I had to make a connection somehow.
Have you ever wandered why you love someone? Is is because of their beauty or because of their capacity to love you? I find myself running into that question all too often, and I don't want it to be the latter for fear of shallowness....
I'm really bored with my life right now. Why? Because....well, I have always been. If something new and exciting isn't happening every moment, I get restless and I'm ready to move on to the next adventure, the next town, the next relationship. This scares me intensly. Will I run the rest of my life from stability like others in my family have done? I can't change this feeling I have of wanting to flee. And, unlike most of you out there, it doesn't come from being in one place my whole life; it actually comes from NEVER being able to stay----with my friends---with my familiar enemies----with my family----with my church. Now, I don't want to stay anymore because I've never learned how to.....stay? (There's a question mark there for a reason; I'm questioning my own thoughts.) And, there's always the ever present aspect of being afraid of relationships and when someone gets too close I run. But isn't that everyone? Doesn't everyone do that?
A friend of mine said a couple days ago to me, "Yes, you are very good at taking Trinitie." I can't free my mind from this thought now. What did he mean? I have no earthly idea. But for some reason, I don't think it's a good thing.
I guess that's it for now; just random, sporatic thoughts from yourz truely,
Trinitie Tiearra Garrison