“I really lived life to its fullest and that got me in trouble from time to time.”

                                                                                                      ~ Matthew Perry

 Evaluation of existence never gets one very far.  Evaluation, here, means to determine the significance, worth, or condition of usually by careful appraisal and study.

Most of the people I’ve met are discontent.  Considering I’ve probably crossed paths with more people than a typical 19 year old, I’d say it’s the majority. 

I have met the occasional nut who seems blind to life’s uncertainty and disorder.  Notice I say seems.  They can see it, usually better than most.  Also, note that I use the word “nut”.  People who are content are generally not considered mainstream (if they were, they would probably lose a piece of their bliss). 

So that’s it?  That’s what it takes to be happy?  Just be perceptive of life’s ambiguity and be a little nutty? That gets you halfway there.  Being aware of the chaos that is life creates the nuttiness.  Finding splendor in discomfort and insecurity is key.

The problem is simply this:  Most people avoid risk in order to accomplish the things they think will make them happy. 

I was accused, recently, of not being a “forward thinker”, meaning I put present pleasure before future goals.  For example, I used my very limited (and might I add, borrowed) gas money to drive to a random boy’s house across town instead of conserving fuel and bearing in mind that I would have to figure out a way to get to and from work for the next week.       

I would agree that my actions were irresponsible and ill-considered, but I would defend my “forward thinking” to the death.  If it’s life, actually living, we’re trying to preserve here, then what I did was constructive.  I enjoyed myself immensely and relished in the serendipity of it all.

Most people’s definition of “forward thinking” is skewed.  It’s the reason I see so many people in a daze, wondering what the purpose is and giving up on an answer when it’s difficult to find. 

You want to know the answer?  All the things that we’re programmed to believe are detrimental to our emotional health ----aren’t.  Uncertainty is a necessity and being willing to accept that ambiguity is the answer is freedom. 

Living life to the fullest means running into trouble from time to time, facing it, and getting through it.  And it’s usually that “trouble”, or negative happening, that leads us to superior destinations.

Trinitie