I’ll confess it was my New Year’s resolution to never speak to you again.   I’ll confess when I told my friends of this, they said I couldn’t do it.   I’ll even confess that they might be right.   Every movie I watch, every book I read, every song I hear, every conversation I have, reminds me of you.     I once heard someone say that you know love is real if you believe that no one on this planet could possibly love another as you do.   Yo...

I’ll always be a cynic when it comes to New Year’s resolutions.   I’ll always believe that there’s no time like the present to revaluate ourselves and make changes where necessary.   Nonetheless, an annual reminder to do so is well appreciated, and the new year tends to refresh the soul and give the heart a sense of new beginnings.   And while it seems that resolutions are meant to be broken, we still make them year after year.   It’s the hope that makes us human, that ...

I'm 19 years old now. Momentous occasions such as birthdays allow me to ignore the future for a moment, and pick through the past. They allow me to acknowlege that sometimes the turning of the page comes without us knowing it; it's only after time has changed us that we can understand how important certain things were. My 18th year brought me a lot of firsts, my first blog, for instance. This little piece of the internet has forced me to search myself in order to share who I am with othe...

It's witnessing the image of my father's fist making contact with my brother's skull. It's my mom throwing a lamp at my head after my dad leaves and I ask her if there's anything she needs. It's my big sister running away and not telling me where she's going. It's seeing her being emotionally abused and knowing there's nothing I can do to help her. It's begging my mom to buy me something for the class party in the 3rd grade, receiving generic oreos, then experiencing that common fee...

There's a game I play with myself. I try to see how long I can trick my brain into thinking I'm having fun. A little girl runs up to my line at the grocery store every time she and her mom visit. She knows me now. She knows I'll grin and tell how how beautiful she is and let her scan her own candy. There is a man who has no idea how much I envy his wife. For every trip he takes to the store, she receives flowers. He tells me how much he loves her and sends me into another of my s...

My sister and I...we're more alike than she'd care to admit. The reason we find it so impossible to tolerate one another for long periods of time is because we see our own fakeness reflected. We're often artificially flavored, you could say. She won't tell you what she's thinking for fear of losing even a small piece of your love. Me? I'm gonna let you know. I'm not afraid of losing love, I'm afraid of losing admiration and respect and individuality. I won't let you know I'm crying inside, I...

Dear Dad, I hate you. I hate that I try to love you despite...I hate that that's all I have to love---the despite. I hate that your words sting worse than anyone elses, and I don't know why. I hate that you make me curl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep. I hate that you have the ability to hurt me. I wish you wouldn't ruin your mind and body with the drugs. I wish you wouldn't lie to me, I wish it didn't make me feel like such an idiot when you do. I wish you knew that I know. I wish I had...

There's a bridge about a mile up the road from my house crossing a river. I walk there often and sit on the ledge to watch the water divide as the boats and jetskis pass over it. Recently, as I was sitting there, 4 tatooed teenagers (2 guys and 2 girls) walked up from the dock. I assume they felt comfortable talking to me because of my piercing and the ignorance that follows most people. One of the chicks in a bikini inquired as to whethor or not it would be safe to jump into the water fr...

I've spoken many times of my obsession with the passenger seat of vehicles. I never really wanted to learn to drive because of my intense love of that seat. It was where I slept when I lived in the car with my mom, it's where the radio controller sits, it's where you don't have to worry about staying inside the lines, you only have to look at the night sky through the windshield, which I ultimately think makes the sky more beautiful. It's like, if you wanna reach out and touch it, you can, the g...

You will ask me to dance, and I will accept, only to push you away before the song is over. I will say I love a challenge, only to run when one arises. I use my past as a defense, as if I'm the only one who had it rough, as if that will somehow justify my present. My mind says that success is measured by obstacles overcome, which may be true, but how can I be sure if it was I who crossed the broken bridges? My heart is filled with a song, a bittersweet song, one of triumph and defeat, o...

I get along with most everybody...for a short period of time. I'm that crazy, fun type of person that everyone wants to be around...that is, until they get to know me. I, Trinitie Tiearra Garrison, am a difficult person, and I'm proud. As a young girl, I was surrounded by unique personalities. I believe my Uncle Matt, whom I've probably mentioned several times on here, contributed largely to who I am. To most people, Uncle Matt would seem a bit...off, but he was my hero. To give you ...

I hate the world around me. I hate the blind people. I hate that no one understands the beauty the world posesses. So, I read. I read books about people who have lived in the ghetto, in the slums. Repeated phrases include, "I need to get out of here before I get stuck like everyone else". Whoa. I highlight. I feel, that maybe, somehow, I'll leave a trace of how I feel behind so that others may see the truth. I journal. Sometimes I feel that writing is secretly a defense of my l...

I once had a teacher, Dr. Hitchcock (seriously), who would tell us that revenge must be balanced by adequate amounts of compassion. That phrase has always stuck with me, not because of it's directness, but because of the generalness it implies. I mean, the fact that everything needs it's opposite to balance it applies to everything. I'm sick of flattery, sick of sugary sweet. I'm starving for truth, and yes, I believe I can handle it. I feel like everyone I come in contact with wants...

Alright, I've only just noticed that I put way to much emotion into this crap. Reading responses like the one's I received on my last article only leaves me feeling drained, though I did expect such replies. I now see it's completely impossible for me to convey my thoughts and feelings across a computer screen, if at all. And that only leaves me feeling worthless. Those of you that I wrote about, know all of your articles have changed me somehow, and Joeuser has taught me many lessons...

The mind is filled with millions of misconceptions about others, and I'm going to share with you what I feel about a few bloggers on here to prove the point that we don't need to cling to these thoughts, but let them go and actually get to know people and love them, because every person is worthy of love. This isn't meant to piss anyone off, and if it does, I'm sorry. I still love all of you guys. Oh, and don't defend youself in the comment box. I've already made the point that my opi...