I'm only passing through...
new-age nomad's Articles In Misc
October 14, 2004 by new-age nomad
It's witnessing the image of my father's fist making contact with my brother's skull.

It's my mom throwing a lamp at my head after my dad leaves and I ask her if there's anything she needs.

It's my big sister running away and not telling me where she's going. It's seeing her being emotionally abused and knowing there's nothing I can do to help her.

It's begging my mom to buy me something for the class party in the 3rd grade, receiving generic oreos, then experiencing that common feelin...
September 18, 2004 by new-age nomad
There's a game I play with myself. I try to see how long I can trick my brain into thinking I'm having fun.

A little girl runs up to my line at the grocery store every time she and her mom visit. She knows me now. She knows I'll grin and tell how how beautiful she is and let her scan her own candy.

There is a man who has no idea how much I envy his wife. For every trip he takes to the store, she receives flowers. He tells me how much he loves her and sends me into another of my sill...
May 31, 2004 by new-age nomad
I've spoken many times of my obsession with the passenger seat of vehicles. I never really wanted to learn to drive because of my intense love of that seat. It was where I slept when I lived in the car with my mom, it's where the radio controller sits, it's where you don't have to worry about staying inside the lines, you only have to look at the night sky through the windshield, which I ultimately think makes the sky more beautiful. It's like, if you wanna reach out and touch it, you can, the g...
May 29, 2004 by new-age nomad
You will ask me to dance, and I will accept, only to push you away before the song is over. I will say I love a challenge, only to run when one arises. I use my past as a defense, as if I'm the only one who had it rough, as if that will somehow justify my present. My mind says that success is measured by obstacles overcome, which may be true, but how can I be sure if it was I who crossed the broken bridges?

My heart is filled with a song, a bittersweet song, one of triumph and defeat, one ...
May 24, 2004 by new-age nomad
I hate the world around me. I hate the blind people. I hate that no one understands the beauty the world posesses.

So, I read. I read books about people who have lived in the ghetto, in the slums. Repeated phrases include, "I need to get out of here before I get stuck like everyone else". Whoa. I highlight. I feel, that maybe, somehow, I'll leave a trace of how I feel behind so that others may see the truth. I journal. Sometimes I feel that writing is secretly a defense of my life...
April 6, 2004 by new-age nomad
Do you ever just sleep when you're feeling down...just to escape the world? I slept far too long today. When I woke up, I only felt sick to my stomach. Sleeping as a remedy = not such a good idea.

My problem? I can't love people. It's simply not in my power. I sat down to write a note of encouragement to my roomate, Kami, on her 24th birthday, and all that kept going through my head were all the things that aggravate me about the girl. I simply could not bring myself to write down an...
March 28, 2004 by new-age nomad
I'm terrified. I'm terrified of growing up. This baffles me because I like to think I was forced to grow up a little too fast due to my environment. Now, I'm not so sure. I wonder if anyone is as scared as I am to officially be on my own.

I really won't be, I know. I have a wonderful sister who will be there along the way. But, it will soon be time for me to graduate, to find an actual job to help pay bills, to finally get a car of my own (I know, I know, I'm a loser, but hey, my fami...
March 6, 2004 by new-age nomad
After going to another AA meeting with my sister and her teacher friend tonight, we went for ice cream at the Marble Slab. Debbie had a friend who was going to be there that night and wanted to introduce me because me and this chick are around the same age. She's all like, "Oh, Trin, you'll love her, she's really spiritual." Yeah, like I'm spiritual...haha.

Anywho, what I'm saying is, in the back of mind, without even realizing it, I was praying the girl wouldn't be there. I have insecu...
March 1, 2004 by new-age nomad
I came home a few hours early from school today. I threw myself on the couch and sobbed uncontrolably; there was no one left to watch---no one left to hender me from letting it go.

I wished I could have fallen asleep, or at least just laid there in a daze with no thoughts to bring the facts back. But, unfortunately, those thoughts of mine never do stop. I picked myself up and slowly walked through every room in our apartment trying to decide what to do next. I'm not too good at the ...
February 29, 2004 by new-age nomad
No one has ever been able to tell me what color my eyes are. I have no idea what color they are; they change so often I can't keep up. I know many people who have this same trait, but I think with me it's different.

At first I thought they changed with what I wore; that proved to be wrong. So, I came up with a theory that God blessed me with eyes that tell people how I'm feeling---since He didn't choose to bless me with the gift of communication.

I've been keeping track of my feel...
February 22, 2004 by new-age nomad
I walk into the "Glass House" tonight and here is what I observe:

I see multiple people with shaking hands because of lack of nicotine in their system, trying to survive in a non-smoking environment. I smell coffee---very, very strong coffee. I hear those gut wrenching, hacking coughs that only come from years of substance abuse. I see furrowed brows and smirks of contentment. I guess that's what separates the old from the new.

A man across from me in a leather jacket is leani...
February 18, 2004 by new-age nomad
Another day of babysitting...IT WAS GREAT!!! I had a little soul revitalization tonight. Usually, I try to keep the kids occupied with mind numbing television shows or playstation games. Not tonight. I ran Jacob some bath water then went in the living room to braid Cathlene's hair for her. I had my hair braided when I came over and I guess she thought it was the ultimate in cool.

So, I sit for a while forming tiny little braids all over this tiny little head and I start to ponder ...
February 2, 2004 by new-age nomad
Ever read poetry and it's so beautiful that you twist it in any way you can to fit your circumstances, even though it has nothing to do with you? We read some very lovely poetry in English today, and I couldn't bring myself to just enjoy it; I had to make a connection somehow.

Have you ever wandered why you love someone? Is is because of their beauty or because of their capacity to love you? I find myself running into that question all too often, and I don't want it to be the latter for ...
January 20, 2004 by new-age nomad
I have always had a problem with putting people (or things) into categories. I don't know that I'll ever be able to pick anything in the categorie list but "misc". I recently read an article written by a guy named Dan K. on this site about "The dissapearance of black and white". Although I find him to be extremely intelligent and very intriguing, the blog upset me for the most part. Why do people feel such a prominent need to put everything into a box?

As for myself, I am a dev...
November 27, 2007 by new-age nomad
If I had a pen, I would write this down.

If my heart was still whole the world might not seem so harsh. Maybe I wouldn't have had to become this.

If I would have kept my mouth closed I might not have given evil a way in.

If my soul hadn't escaped I'd probably hold my chin above my chest and look less like a marionette.

If my hands would stop shaking I'd be able to put my finger on what it is I'm missing.

If I had a spirit, I might be resilient in a way that would save myself...not...